“What goes on in this house, stays in this house”
Growing up, no matter what your ethnicity or religious background is, at some point you have heard your parents or guardian say this to you. Now, it’s not ENTIRELY a wrong thing, I just feel they were never specific about what things. So for instance, if your grandmother was staying with you guys because her house caught a fire, okay to keep to yourself. If your father abuses your mother daily, okay to tell a friend. Unless grandmother has a foul mouth and constantly disrespects you, your parents relationship or household, then talk to someone about how you feel. She got to go lol! In my opinion, kids/children hold onto the negative in their life more than the positive meaning the negative affects them more mentally and emotionally. In everyday life, they will carry this with them into the workforce, relationships, friendships and affect their personality.
Usually when people don’t have an outlet, it can create loneliness and mental illness. It comes in the form of anger, depression, Molly’s, smoking weed all day/everyday, syrup and Percocets. Okay, okay, smoking weed is a choice (like all) that is relaxing and recreational but you CAN over do it. Anything to take their mind off of the pain/hurt. Back to my original post.
Many parents don’t realize that telling your kids to keep things in the household will make a child keep everything in the household, even things that need to be discussed out loud. Abuse comes in all shapes and forms and can often be their own parents. Mommy and daddy not happy together or at all, you or a sibling may either get verbally or physically abused. Uncle Sheldon staying at the house until he gets on his feet around your 11 year old blossoming daughter, sexual abuse may come into play. Parents in the middle of a nasty divorce, both are bitter and angry, emotional abuse is displayed and the child feels neglected. But this child holds this in and doesn’t say a word always keeping in mind what their parents taught them, what goes on in this household, stays in this household. These things could also be happening to the friend of your child. The child’s parent goes by this same rule and now both your child and the friend are being abused when he just there overnight to have fun. See how this works? I’m very observant now, I can only imagine the intensity once I have children of my own. I’ll pray now for their patience and understanding.
Take it a step further. You keep it in the household and decide to tell your parents how you feel. What is usually the response?
Don’t tell your mother/father, they may get upset
Why would you feel neglected or not loved when you don’t want for anything? You have food, shelter, and clothing on your back
Your uncle has been around you since you were a little girl, why would you say something like that? I’m going to ask him what’s going on
I yell at or hit you and your brother to keep y'all in check, you don’t listen and I get tired of talking. Your mom/dad is already giving me slack, I don’t need it from either of you as well
Now, I personally don’t feel to the extent of what was said above is ever spoken of in most households. You have soooo many “parents” whom do not need children and could care less about their well being. But there is nothing that needs to be said though especially concerning my daughter! Uncle Sheldon would be dead, period. I would take those charges and my husband should want to do the same but in this situation, no grown man, outside of my husband, would ever be living in my house around my kids or staying for extended periods of time. I can find you a shelter but I don’t know what to tell you. Sorry. Parents need to think. If they did, there would be more parents in jail from protecting their children! Or more villains in jail because they were caught when it happened. On a daily basis when you have children, there should not ever be a moment on where you don’t think of ways of improving your children, their situation or the relationship you have with them. They should always be the most important thought of the day and the most important aspect in your life. I can’t understand how parents would want their kids to keep things that hurt them to themselves? Anything that’s bothering them restricted to an environment that’s not healthy for growth and well-being? When they can’t find an outlet at home and in you, they find it with friend or foe and it’s usually the wrong crowd, that gets into the wrong things, to have all the wrong consequences in the long run. We would also have less adolescents in the system at young ages.
To making 2019 a better & safer year for children! Salute to the parents who take zero crap when it comes to their kids.
