Something to remember

I was on google plus awhile back. I like to read the quotes and keep up on what’s going on in other places. The one thing I love the most is reading the “words of wisdom” that I probably have not heard before. Yes I have aunts, uncles and older cousins but sometimes certain aspects of life or different ways of seeing things are not broken down by the people you see on a daily. I found this, loved it and actually learning to live by these things. I feel it’s mistakes that people make everyday without notice or see it and don’t want to change.

*You’re in charge of your own happiness. Let me repeat that again: you’re in charge of your own happiness. Do not put happiness in someone else, do not put your happiness in something else, and do not feel the need to search for happiness out there when it’s right here inside of you.

*You will make friends and you will lose friends, and then there will be some friends that will latch onto you and wither your soul. Toxic relationships are bad, for you and for the other person. Leave. Drop the friendship and go. Do not feel guilty that you cannot please them, do not feel like you are too weak to handle them, and please do not look back and regret what you did- if anything, regret that you did not end things sooner. 

*Do not ever feel the need to tell someone things about yourself if you don’t want to, even if they start to guilt you. Do not ever feel hurt knowing there are people out there that know your deepest secrets but are no longer in your life, simply be more cautious the next time.

*Do not look back and say “I wish I had told you how I really felt”. Do it. Tell everyone your true and unabashed feelings, tell them how much you appreciate their existence or even tell them how they’ve hurt you. Learn to communicate your feelings, even if they are not returned to you with the same force.

*If you can see the type of person you want to be, do not delay in becoming that. If you want to be the girl that wears skirts even though you’ve worn pants your whole life or the girl that speaks up against what is wrong even though your whole life you’ve been quiet and let things pass by, do not be afraid to break out of the shell you have created for yourself.

*Be optimistic. It might be hard when you’re surrounded by pessimistic people all day and when life seems to unraveling before your eyes, but have a little hope. Know that things do get better. know that you will be fine. Don’t listen to that voice that makes you start to doubt yourself, you will make it to better days.

*You’re going to have some really high expectations in life, and people are constantly going to fall short of it and let you down. But just because someone isn’t perfect in the way you want them to be, doesn’t mean they aren’t great in their own manner.

*There isn’t a movie ending to real life events. Sometimes you won’t get closure, sometimes things won’t get resolved, and sometimes you won’t get to control how things play out or even how you’re left feeling in the end. But you’ve got to learn to just let things go and keep moving forward. You’ve got a whole new adventure waiting out there for you, and things are going to work out, one way or the other.

There you have it, hopefully this changes someone’s perspective on their life. To better thinking and living!

To reproduce or not to reproduce...

I’m quite sure I’m not the only female without children who constantly gets that famous question, “when are you having children?” ...Why? Are you planning on helping me take care of him/her?? It’s annoying but I guess I understand where they are coming from. I’m 28 years OLD, the clock is ticking...matter of fact, I don’t know where they are coming from! I’m 28, no kids, not married, and if it’s in Gods hands for me to have children, it will be done when he wants it to be done. Period. No rush and I want to be some kind of careful with whom I give this gift too. Leave it alone. I want to travel or at least live in another city or two and just enjoy life without having a major responsibility outside of bills. Kids hold people back for years from doing what they want to do. I like having the chance to go and do whatever I want without looking or begging for a babysitter. I like my alone and personal time whenever I want. I understand they bring about a great level of joy, happiness and a great deal of being more grateful for what you have. I’m just not at that point in my life. I’m definitely not taking a jab at the women my age who do have children, it’s just I see too many women my age who are single mothers that bothers me.

I honestly see a lot of women who actually don’t need kids and I feel bad for the child involved. Even worst is, that is all that child knows by seeing the behavior that is displayed around them. Smoking with their parents and posting bags of weed on Social Networks at 15, parents disrespect outside the home so the kids then bring it inside the home back to the parent, not conducting themselves in a mature way outside the home (all the fighting videos on Youtube) or not finishing high school and be okay with it. Too much! Around my neighborhood it’s not too bad but was walking my dog one beautiful afternoon and seen this girl twerking in front of this baby boy...like hard too! Girl, that is not cute what so ever and they get mad when these boys bring home the women that’s out of pocket, ghetto, ratchet or whatever else. They then grow up to believe that’s a “woman” and how she is supposed to conduct herself. I don’t get it but okay.

For me, It’s too much of a responsibility I’m not ready for nor have the patience for honestly. I’m also scared of running into someone who is an unfit father figure. You know the guy who pops up out of nowhere when not expecting it and seems like the man of your dreams, whatever that may be, does everything right but wands up fucking you over with bullshit you tried to stay away from...I’m good. I want to be a great mom and be able to give my child everything they want and need without me having to utter the words, “Can I”, “Can you help me with”, or “Are you able to” with nobody at any given time. I don’t want to work 2 and 3 jobs to make sure we are good because the father of my child wants to be a pure dickhead! That’s not the life I want. I see too many of my fellow peers going through it God willing and pushing on as if the world is not on their shoulders. I’m quite sure I will be the same way when up against a wall, but why bother to be? That’s why I would rather take my time and be married first. My wife and kids sounds so much and feels so much better than my baby-mom and kids. There are so many good men out here whom get over-looked because yes, we women, have a certain type we like and it’s not always going to be the tech geek, guy who became a surgeon after high school, the business man or the real estate tycoon. They don’t live in the areas where a lot of women I know, including myself, come from. So what’s left is the around the way “nigga”, hustlers, guy pursuing the “rap” career, the semi good guy with the throwed off ex- girl who won’t leave him alone, or the guy who has a good 8 to 5 job with benefits and health insurance that feels he’s doing better than anybody in the neighborhood...but still live there...to show off I guess?...yeah. Cornball. Anyway, of course somewhere in the mix is the guy looking to get out and working on it but women don’t want that. Why? Who knows, stupidity I guess and I was one of them lol! Sad to admit but I’m older now and a lot wiser. Women want someone already established and get everything they want from him they can’t get for themselves. Anyway, I guess it’s up to God and he brings people in your life for a reason and season sometimes, I’m just saying I don’t the pop up baby father in conclusion. I know some awesome women and wish them nothing but the best in their journeys to raising their children. In the mean time...

To someday having a great sperm donor! This picture is so idyllic!!

I remember way back when...

(Singing) “Back in the day when I was young I’m not a kid anymore but some days I sit and wish I was a kid again”- Ahmad - Back in the day

Wow!! So how about the two phones to the left?! I only had the one in the middle and the one on the right. Was an 80’s baby so that phone to the far left was before me! My bad old heads lol. But I remember playing snake on the middle phone and the noise the buttons would make while dialing out! Annoying but as long as I can keep in touch with somebody is all my mom cared about. Minute phones were the worst so a 10 minute maximum was required or that bad boy would cut right off on you. Technology was never as important as it is now. People have to have the Iphones and Samsungs and just simply fit in with everybody else. I personally like Blackberry but call me old school, that’s fine;) Selfies and Social Media is the everyday norm and if you don’t have either one of those accounts (Instagram, facebook, twitter, snapchat), people frown at you like, why? I’m sorry but there is more to life than living behind a phone, tablet or computer! Unless I’m writing of course. Our day by day in the summer or after school was Double Dutch or Rope, Hop-Scotch, Board Games (Monopoly), Barbie or some type of Figurine, Nintendo or Sega. Water gun or balloon fights, tag, knock knock zoom zoom (the neighbors hated us for this). Not everybody did this but we stayed busy. We ripped and ran up and down the block but never the “streets” until we were of age, like 16 at least. That’s no better but now they start at 12 but I guess the parents just keep getting younger and younger so theres your answer. I grew up around “old school” type of adults. When grown folks are talking, drinking, smoking...you go on about your business and don’t dare sit in their face unless you want to get popped. Don’t run your mouth about what goes on in the household, you get off the phone at a certain at a certain age, you stay upstairs when grown people are downstairs unless told to come down and/or when the street lights came on, you come in or when your name is yelled. You speak to everybody when they either walk in your house or vice versa, you were a child and they did not have to break their neck to speak to you first. Anyway, we didn’t gossip about such and such Brazilian weave (we still had box braids and barrettes and ballies), kids, lifestyle or worried about what people thought when you walked out the door. Mainly because our parents or older sibling dressed us.

Cartoons and the newest Disney movies kept us up at night and even past our bedtimes. It got us up in the morning also while eating breakfast and getting ready for school. My favorite was Beauty and the Beast, The Land Before Time (oldie) and Pocahontas. There were many more but you get the point. Having a day at the pool and a cookout with family and friends was pure fun! Not worried about how your body looks at 11 years old and it was a family environment. Nobody twerking and being put on Youtube and posting everyday life occurrences on Social Media to prove you have a life….we get it. Some things should be for your man’s eyes and remain personal for family only. I would listen to Q 102...yes I listen to anything appealing to the ear and power 99. I hate the radio now but it changes with the times so I’m used to it at this point.

I remember going to my cousin’s houses (Germantown, West or Southwest) in the summers because I hated Norristown!! And still do! Did anything to leave for the weekends. Anyway, but we would always find something to do and always found other girls to hang out with around the way. Of course the catty girly things would happen and we would get mad for a second but nothing too crazy. Nobody was worried about weed, $700 weave, or boys for the most part. They all got pregnant before me but we were old enough when they started having kids. We would have pizza nights and stay up watching scary movies or music videos when they became popular on Pop up Video, Bet or Mtv. I would be scared to death staying in Germantown because my cousins dad had a million big ass dogs! They would rarely come in the house though, just being a punk I guess. When not around each other, we would be on the phone for hours talking about nothing important but just to keep in touch with one another. We would always make up dances (we loved to dance, especially reggae) and just laugh at the smallest things. I still do honestly (lol), just goofy like that sometimes.

Your very first relationship, kiss, sex, or bff was special. Awkward lol but special because nobody knew what they were doing unless he/she was older than you. No pressure was put on me by friends or the guy and I always did what I wanted when I wanted anyway so he respected that. Yall would sit and talk on the steps or phone for hours, mainly because he was not allowed inside so you had no choice. Momma/Poppa/grandma did not play that! Saying I love you for the first time actually meant something even if you didn’t know what love was. Just the feeling alone was good and comforting and yet very simple. Courting lasted a lot longer and you guys liked one another and that’s all that mattered. The bff was most likely just like you in a lot of ways and honestly this is the type of person you will not ever run into again. Over the years either you change or they change but you always say to yourself, “I miss that person and how were as friends. What happened?”

Things were just simple and to the point. If only we could go back and relive certain time periods…

Dannie.

The Nerve

Real quick, Ladies, maybe it’s me but have you noticed that a man’s expectations for us are different from what ours are for them? I know typical but I can’t with the comments they make about women like they walked out the door looking like they are ready for the Mercedes Benz fashion show in New York or they come to bed built like Tyson Beckford! Im confused. They have too many complaints for my liking. It’s either:

-whats up with your feet? (yours could use a pedicure or lift but okay)

-I like your complexion but being lighter or darker would have been better (talk to God about that one)

-I don’t like make-up (well I do)

-wearing bonnets/scarves to bed (Nigga I have to work in the A.M)

-certain colors on nails or toes (If I like it, let me be)

-the way we are built (Booty too flat, too skinny...whatever)

-the downplay of my natural sistas (everybody does not care for weave, heat, or perms..get over it)

-Her style of dress is not what every other female is wearing (I Am my own person and wear what I want, when I want and how)

I don’t understand it. Clearly that just shows her priorities are on what’s important and not the nonsense that isn’t because that’s what everyone else is doing. She just marches to the beat of a different drum. Anyway, lets go in for a minute on these men that always have something to say. The same dude looking at a female for how she is built almost always has that boney Wiz Khalifa body or fat albert, bone crusher type dude and package may be small. Yes, we still care about that fellas and since you can’t help how you’re built down there, shut up. How about the guys with the weird shaped heads….sometimes flat in the back, jacked up hairline, lumps all over the place or that unexplainable knot in the back of your head? That’s not cute buddy. How about rap and hip hop are not the only genres of music and love and respect being more important than fashion, how many different chicks you can get or how much money you have in the bank. A lot of men don’t wear what looks right on them or fits them properly but quick to put a female in her place about it. We pay attention to the way you guys do everything just like it’s done to us. But woman almost always get the short end of the stick!

I could go on but the point is made. Everybody has their flaws and certain ways they do things. Men (especially straight) should be the last to put women down and should do more uplifting. Maybe learning from their older counterparts could help. Older men compliment, they speak with just hello or good morning, and could care less what you look like in the home as long as in public you look good. Younger men are too picky and need to get a clue because if most of them strip, it ain’t a pretty sight and far worse than any female I know and don’t know! But carry on fellas ;)

A & B conversation

Conversations always seem to be taken in first, second and third person, never just first and second. Why? No real friends or loyalty. Well people also have a tendency to want either closure, clarity or convincing. Closure by just leaving the situation and individual alone, clarity to figure out how to handle the situation from someone elses point of view or convincing to even say anything at all. Still confused? So am I!! If this is your friend and you feel in your heart that something needs to be said and what needs to be said...then why ask ANYBODY else for their opinion. I honestly will ask to compare or just to vent out my feelings but never do what anybody tells me I should do. Wish everybody was like this but we know how that goes. But what happens if it was a private conversation? You know about your personal problems and you felt you have a good friend, why not talk about it and see what she thinks. Time goes by and everybody knows your business!! Really? So you go back to the source.

Scenario:

1. Susan: Hey girl, I wanted to run something by you when you got a chance about the other day. I didn’t bring it up because we were in the eyes and ears of other people and wanted to keep it private.
2. Sky: Sure girl, wassup?

    A. Well you remember when you said something about my family drama and personal issues to diane? I did not appreciate that and felt that was spoken between me and you. If I wanted diane to know, I would have told her myself but felt I could talk to you and figured you would keep it to yourself.

    B. Well I apologize about that. Figured everybody has issues and didn’t think it would a big deal because we all were friends.

1. Understandable but please don’t do that again. I know she has a big mouth sometimes and know I can’t go to her about everything!
2. I get it because I can be the same way. It won’t happen again!

Everything seems cool and it seems Sky understood until D, E and F heard multiple stories about what happened and how Sky REALLY felt. Come to find out:

-your family is crazy

-they do nothing for you

-you’re petty

-always have something going on or to complain about

-she didn’t think it was a big deal because everybody has family issues so why is yours sooo important to keep quiet about?

-your aunty such and such on welfare and wic, etc, etc...

Wow! So much for having someone to talk to right? I have learned over the years and still learning actually that everybody is NOT a friend and change like the weather! They often fake the funk and put on these faces to know your business. Sky and Susan are no longer friends of course and thats when Sky really ran her mouth about Susans life and she felt. Smh. Crazy but women or females are just petty like that. Let bygones be bygones and just move on. No need for the extra stuff. How can you put down someone you considered a friend so bad that it ruins your friendship? And why would you want to? I have learned that A LOT of women carry insecurities and bring them into their relationships and not just with men. Sad thing is putting another “sister” and fellow woman down is the right thing to do when no longer cool?!? It seems that person is now beneath you and you have every right to say whatever you want. But when you guys were friends, you kept quiet and consistently expressed how you felt to others that had nothing to do with nothing...interesting. When the Susans come to you being real and honest, it’s never reciprocated and often fabricated when spoken about to others. You know who you are. Carry on.

3 Sides...

I always believed there were 3 sides to the way a woman thinks: heart, mind, and intuition.

Heart: She will follow and be loyal and would not think the people she cares about the most would hurt her. It will be hard making a decision about a relationship or family member because of what it symbolizes to others and what they mean to her. She knows this is what makes people stay in bad situations and regret wasted time. It will still be hard letting go.

Mind: This is when she begans to talk about her problems to everyone close to her. For reassurance or closure before actually making her decision. She constantly goes over and back and fourth about things even when its the truth. Big and small details. Speaking in second and third person to describe everyones action and reaction making sure she gets a truthful response from peers. Leaving out no details but still feeling as if it was all her fault. It will be hard letting go.

Intuition: She knows exactly whats going on. Will ask questions she knows the answers to, goes on social media, figure out passwords, and may even become "cool" with people she doesn't even like just to get answers. It's like feeding a crazy appetite. She pictures what it would be like without this person and how to deal day by day. Thinking of their actions and how they made her feel is the worst. She knows she deserves better. Letting go is a piece of cake;)

Recap of a book

The days I have off work, I love reading a good book. Especially like today when its rainy and a nice little breeze coming through the window. Chilling. I usually go for the love books with explicit sexual content (not on purpose) and of course mainly the action and drama that comes along with it. It’s entertaining to say the least. I love the fact that all of my electronic devices are google play and books to pick up where I left off on one device. Their free selection of books aren’t that bad either. Previous books I’ve read and enjoyed were Fifty Shades of Grey, The Coldest Winter Ever, Midnight, a few by Zane and Steven King. But out of all the drama and craziness, there is nothing like the book I’m reading now. I borrowed this from a cousin who is the queen of reading these types of books. It’s called The Ex Factor by Tu-Shonda Whitaker. It’s about 3 sisters from Brooklyn named Celeste, Imani, and Monica who have the same mother different fathers and live different lifestyles in a sense.

Celeste is the oldest who has 3 children (1 of her own and twins by her husband), married to a cop to whom is younger than she, and they live in Jersey. Over the years she has gained weight, no longer works and her husband, Shareif, is no longer attracted to her and she knows it. Long nights, he’s never home and knows he’s cheating...just not with who. Imani is the sister on welfare, lives in the projects in Brooklyn, has a son by someone she was with for 10 years but he can’t seem to stay out of prison or keep a job. She found out while he was away for 2 years, he had gotten someone else pregnant with their second child while she visited him in prison the days Imani didn’t go and also married her while he was in prison. Imani never knew this. Last but not least is Monica, the sister that pissed me off. Monica works at a hospital, single has no man, her own place, no kids and seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. Monica is having an affair with her sisters husband, Shareif, is now 4 months pregnant and keeping the baby! Really? Not saying this does not happen but I’m not checking out nobody elses man...he’s yours and let alone my sister’s man. Triflin. What made it worse was Celeste would confide in her sister about their marriage, she knowing that he’s cheating, and how she felt.

So this may not be a big deal to some but to me it is having 2 other sisters myself and not having a thought in mind of something like this happening. Of course the husband is telling Monica he wants to be with her and love her but doesn’t want anymore children...welp buddy should have thought about that before having unprotected sex with her. And it’s crazy because Monica doesn’t have a guilty bone in her body. She feels Celeste was always mean to her growing up and it’s her fault that she gotten fat and no longer keeps the interest of her husband. What type of s**t is that!?

How is a woman that desperate to have a man she is willing to take someone elses and rain on the other womans happiness? How are you that miserable to sit and dwell on the love and affection you see a man give his woman that you would want him specifically to do the same for you? The sad thing is the lengths that his woman would go through to keep his sorry ass. I’m not fighting nobody, you don’t deserve a cuss out, he doesn’t deserve tears and I will not be distraught. Honestly if it was that easy, no matter how long she was chasing him, you weren’t mine to begin with. Nobody should ever be able to come between you and your partner. Period. I hate when people say it was a mistake, they think with their “friend”, men can’t control their sexual desires or sex drives, and the infamous “men will be men” bull. And for the life of me don’t understand it. Anybody in their right mind will think about what they are losing and how they won’t EVER get that back, even if she takes you back. It won’t be the same. If this is not an immediate thought, you didn’t really care like you thought you have all that time.  

Hate.

Hate. Such a strong word and people use it in the wrong context. Men and women constantly use it to describe how someone feels about them. For example: to be jealous because of how they dress, the kind of car they have, them having their own spot, or because of the man or woman they have in their lives. You know the things you are supposed to have as an adult. Ridiculous. Honestly, if I’m going to feel that strongly about someone, it’s going to be something real. I will hate the person who murders a family member of mine and taking them from myself, their family and my own, the boyfriend who manipulates and abuses a friend of mine and lowers her self esteem, or the father that was never there but wants to be when I shine and do well for myself. Those are legit reasons for me to HATE someone.

There are people who feel material things are a reason to hate, lets think about what some go through on a regular basis. Homelessness is something we see on a daily basis. We have no idea why they are at that point in life but I hate seeing people sleeping on the streets and living underground by the sub or el. We can point the finger all day long but for those that are going through it, have a reason to hate the way they have to live. Shelters are available and I honestly feel they become too full and they have no choice but to make a home somewhere else. The woman who suffers physical abuse from her husband or lover has a reason to hate. Her children have a reason to hate her for not leaving and staying to be hurt. They see the pain shes dealing with and too young to help her. That girl who suffers sexual abuse has a reason to hate her abuser and anybody that never stopped him when she spoke up. People with single parents have a reason to hate their mothers or fathers for not being there. They watched day by day the struggle for food, gas to get to work, money for the bus or train, getting things for the home or trying to make time for themselves to be an adult outside of their children.

Instead of focusing on the petty reasons why we hate anything, lets always stop and think about what someone else is going through and the reasons why they have hate in their hearts. We have the opportunity to improve our lives and make them better but instead many look to others lives as confirmation that their not where they want to be. Why? It may not be in Gods plan for you to have what they or even close to it. I know things may get rough but thats life. You’re here to do whats in your heart, not follow and constantly evaluate the life of another. So lets stop HATING and focus on what you are here to do. Whether it’s to be a Cardiologists, Nurse, Paralegal, Communications major, helping people in other countries or being a stay at home mother….focus on your life and what you are here to do. Period. If we do this, we will be happy with self and the way things are going for self and have no time worrying about others and the lives they lead.

Random thought

This cold weather makes you appreciate the roof over your head, the heat you have in your home, the blankets, bed, furniture, and hot water. There's so many people out there that don't have that and are just getting by the best way they can. My heart goes out to those who don't have much or anything at all and the people that everyday help those who can't help themselves. Many of us take these things for granted and feel we are "obligated" to have even the smallest things in life. Forgetting that at any moment they can be taken by house fire, water damage, burglary or lose of income. Everyday I wake up and thank God for any and everything/everybody I have in my life and pray for them for good health and to live their full longevity on this earth. Simply saying THANK YOU and showing your appreciation is all you need.

You. Me. She. Him.

You. Sucker for love. You appreciate any love coming in your direction and value the person giving. The face behind this is a beautiful individual. Caring, loving, respectful, loyal, hard working and honest. You love life. You’re all about family, friends, good laughs and fun. Who wouldn't? You have great people in your life who have your back and love you dearly. You have this motivation about life and know you’re destined for greatness no matter what or how long it may take. You have this same motivation with your relationships as well. You want someone who has the same drive as you and loves and appreciates you for who you are. Always making Saturday plans being that Sunday is game day no matter the sport. The greeting when seeing or leaving one another, the smile she has that lets you know it’s love, the taking to friends and the impromptu importance she shows you when you’re in need. You wanted someone like this your entire life and she’s finally yours...so did you actually find what you were looking for or do you want more?

Me. Logic over love. Warm hearted but zero tolerance for lies and bullshit, hardworking, cool with certain family members of his and watchful eye on certain friends. What? Just looking out for him and feel years have nothing on hate, lies, and being phony. I love him but will put love on hold for the wrong person and make it harder for the next person. Continuous cycle I guess. I can laugh and joke all day but feel those traits are brought out with certain people. Not everyone sees it. Have very few surrounding me and have always been that way. I feel the less drama the better. Hard to figure out at times, complex even but good to those who are good to me. My true friends see me as goofy and open while outsiders simply see me as cold. I make time for my relationship and always makes plans for us to do something fun. Is this controlling behavior or just a good girlfriend being...good?

She. Breath of fresh air. Everything you were looking for and more. Could see you having a life with her and a good one at that. The femininity she has with her emotions are too good to be true and not seen often by most women. She doesn't have many people around her but is loved by many. Kind hearted, open, she doesn't judge you and her feelings toward you are mutual. Good feeling. It’s like your home away from home kind of thing. When there’s no one left to talk to, she’s there. She loves and respects everyone in your life from the ones who take up most of your time to the ones you only see once a year. Thinks with her heart and knows no other way...so did you find her yet or are you still looking?

Him. The mans man. Work, God first then family. Awesome provider but sometimes does not stop to smell the roses. The weekend is his time because he feels he’s done enough Monday through Friday. But is that really enough? Very subtle when it comes to his emotions...is he upset, stressed, just thinking, being funny, being serious. Difficult to deal with at times but you guys always laugh it off and move on. He makes you feel good even with very little time spent. Foot rubs aren’t a problem, back rubs, bubble baths, and nice dinners. Communication is not key with this guy though. Work seems to always be at the top of the list then family then his man such and such. Can we talk about our life, our future, plan the next vacation maybe? You often have to question many of his motives for life in general and if you are even in the future plans...are your needs really met? Is this where you really belong?

What makes us constantly question ourselves when it comes to love and relationships? No matter how good things are going, there is always going to be that point we began to wonder: Is this person for me? Is He or She a better match for my future plans? Am I not good enough to spend quality time with? Why is work life so much more important than our love life? Instead of seeing what’s real and in plain sight, we ignore the important aspects and give too much attention to our negative thoughts. Instead of praying together, we complain to our single friends giving false accusations because we did not communicate to our partners about how we feel. Sometimes we are even taken to another place and usually with someone else (He or She) and imagine what we could have instead of appreciating or improving what we already have. It takes time but getting into a daily mental routine will eventually improve your thinking in a positive direction. At any moment I could have “Him” if I wanted or he could have “She” but will that really make things better? The grass is not always greener on the other side. Love yours.

Women and hygiene

I can not for the life of me understand why a woman would not want to take good care of herself?!? These are almost always the women walking around claiming they’re “bad” because of the attention the backside and thighs creates. I know people have their different living situations and it’s tough but you make it work. You can’t walk around talking about how “bad” you are with B.O. It’s not cute to dress to impress but smell terrible. Of course we all have our sweaty moments and moments where we don't feel like washing our hair or derriere...but only when staying in the house. Especially during the summer months!

Lets keep it real, a lot of women, even when grown, don’t even know when to change their tampons, pads and pantyliners. To keep it fresh, there’s all sorts of powders, vaginal washes, hot water, soap, cotton underwear in the world to keep it clean and fresh down there. I also see a lot of women who don’t believe in shaving their underarms but will wear a sleeveless top or go out partying? And my daily commute, I see this too often. The one thing that really kills me is when I’m talking to another woman and her hair stanks! Yes stanks. Especially when they walk by you and you get the wind after they walk by... Like it smells like dirty pillow cases and old grease or something. That belief that dirt makes the hair grow thing went out the window a long time ago and we should be washing our hair at least every 2 weeks with a perm and every week when natural to keep it conditioned. Who doesn’t like for their scalp/hair to feel clean and free?

Now the curling iron smell is one all women can relate to but that dirty hair smell is one of a kind and can create a headache. Whether your natural, permed, blonde or brunette, ladies, should keep it washed. A couple of other things that kills me is a past due weave and the rest of the hair being permed but seems they forgot the edges and back of the neck... You know when their hair is pulled up in a really cute bun and the neck is nappy as all hell and doesn’t look like they ever attempted to comb or brush it? Yes, I do not understand that but if it works for you, do you. The past due weave is something I don’t quite understand...at all. With a weave you have to plan ahead. If you know in a few weeks that when that weave needs to be replaced and you won’t have the money or at least half, don’t do it or just buy a wig or something until further notice or a $7 perm. It will save you money. I’ve always heard older women say “you can always tell when a woman has no man” or “what your hair smells like is what she smells like down there” and this is indeed true! Any man in his right mind that loves and cares about his woman, will not walk around with her looking pitiful or will tell her she needs a different feminine wash or something.

Now with the face being the first thing seen when looking at you, your lips are being looked at when communicating. Ash, dryness, chap, powdery-look whatever can be taken care of with chapstick, lip gloss or lipstick. Vaseline works well also. Like I stated in the beginning, nobody is perfect and will have their days but these things shouldn’t be an everyday occurrence when being a woman. Sorry to have offended anyone but needed to get that off my chest.

To better hygiene!