Sunday, October 30, 2016

A few "boundaries" in life

Boundaries have no limit of being crossed with certain individuals. They feel a certain kind of “initiative” and feel it’s okay to say and do as they please. Whether it’s family, coworker or friend, there are always boundaries that should never be crossed at all times. These are the ones I personally feel should be respected.

  1. Your title, is your title...stay within that title...meaning stay in your lane. If your Mother or Father, don’t act like boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife. Most single parents have the tendency to treat their children as a relationship and not the appropriate one. As a girlfriend, fiance or wife, I don’t want another woman stepping on my toes when it comes to my relationship or household. Any major decisions should be made between the two in the relationship. Fathers aren’t too bad with their daughters but it will be known that they will get out of line if need be. Mothers on the other hand need some serious WORK in that department! You can’t play Mother, accountant, doctor, counselor or God all the time with a man in a relationship...especially when you have yours at home. If you raised him right, don’t worry.  Let his woman play some of that role. Trust, she’s not taking your place. #yourlane #mylane #theresadifference

  1. Fellas, women sometimes have those moments where we don’t want to be so "sophisticated".We want to hang out with our girls, put a freakum dress on, throw on a tall heel, get drunk and let loose! Something to post to social networks, show off and look back on as we age like “girl we had so much fun that night”. Lol. This does not mean this is ME as an individual all the time or at all. I could be a banker during the week wearing business suits and rarely go anywhere on the weekends but from time to time, I gets loose! That does not mean that I’m a “loose” woman. This also does not mean to smack my butt, grab my hand and call me a bitch because I ignore you. A bad bitch, smut, cheeks, or whatever the hell else they’re saying to get a woman’s attention. Grown men, stop the dumb shit and have respect. #womenaresingleforareason
  2. Women, even though she’s a friend of yours, you do not have the right to say that your girlfriends man or husband is fine, handsome, cute or whatever. Some have a nerve to go into details too like “he has pretty green eyes, nice lips, a pretty smile, nice physique, and complexion.” That’s me looking at you like why are you paying that much attention?? I expect that from a coworker who sees a picture and we aren’t friends to react in that manner but to constantly hear it from a friend knowing she will be around him at some point, is NOT cool. Keep your comments to self. Don’t even tell a mutual friend. Or matter of fact don’t look. #DLhoes

  1. Keeping up with friends and making sure everything is okay is a great thing! But um when it’s about 11:30 to midnight, them conversations should be cut off. Single, fine...relationship, problem. Having a bff, there will always be problems they have even at midnight but if myself and my man are chilling and a friend of his calls...and he picks up then houston we have a problem. If you don’t have a flat tire, a way to get home, family issues (hospital) then how about we try again. To me it’s rude if done all the time intentionally because most people will just keep on talking. Being friends for so long, they're like family, by all means that's great! A couple will not always show what they really do around others and that could be "our time" to chill, catch up and cuddle and here you go with another issue. Most people know this person will pick up to see what’s wrong but if they say chillin with ___ then save the convo for the next day when we aren’t chillin. #singlefriendsbelike

  1. A group of girlfriends is sometimes the best and worst thing to have. As stated before, they are not always the most upfront and began to get cliqued up. The boundaries with this one is the lack of communication with one another. One of the girls will always have the “go- to” within the group that she feels closest too instead of going to the problem itself. This is not a bad thing but if everybody is cool/friends and that’s how it’s always been, keep it that way. Talk it out as a whole and resolve whatever issues you ladies may have. Even if you’re not the woman with the issue, stating the issue you have with their actions or words is a start. If all else fails… #byebitch

  1. When any woman is living with her man whether they are married or “shacking-up” as older people say, when I leave for the day or a few hours, every woman except mom or grandma must go also. Sorry, love ya sweetie but we are not THAT cool. Since high school I always heard about a girl’s best friend sleeping with her man or a man’s best friend sleeping with his woman. My big question is, seeing how people change like the weather, why do we trust someone that much? Is it time? I don’t know but there’s no way you are chilling in my home while my man is there and I’m out running errands! Don’t pop up either. Shoot a text, email, call, snap, marco polo, something to let me know your planning on dropping by. Some women get too comfortable with their “ friends” and men get too comfortable around her friends. You have a girls night and he walking around in his boxers or with his shirt off…get punched. #tripping

  1. The pop up parent. Most have been there when living without a parent in the household. Sorry but it’s mainly fathers. They call on birthdays and even forget those or come by the house with excuses for days on why they haven’t been around. But for some reason feel the need to coach you about life? Really? Or this parent that only comes to birthday cookouts and graduations but brags about all the work you do and wants everybody to know they’re your mother or father. Hilarious right!? It’s even funnier when you reproduce and they’re around your children more than they were ever around you! Guess it’s making up for lost time and feeling bad about it... I look at it like this: their guessing it’s not their child, so of course a child is easier to be around when you can simply give them back to their mother or father and not feel guilty about it. #daddywho? #mommaplease

  1. So we’ve all been to cookouts or barbecues, same difference, and there’s always that one person that brings that friend with that “bad attitude”. You know, the girl that’s dressed up, heels, tight jeans, make-up, etc and her attitude is shitty because she’s not getting the attention she wants?? Yeah, her. Steady trying to be cute that she’s missing out and actually not enjoying herself nor the moment. She sits there by herself taking selfies, no conversation, or on a phone call the whole time talking about nothing and you wonder why she came or stayed in the first place. Then has a nerve to want to charge her phone when it dies… girl. She quickly forgets she's at someones home and forgot to check her attitude at the door. #rosesreallysmelllike...

  1. We all have those friends who do not, with any doubt in mind, curse around their children, drink or smoke. For some reason, this other friend they have decides she wants to do all of the above and could care less. She feels they will hear it one day so her doing shouldn’t make a difference because it’s coming from her… it does boo. This person could have been your ace growing up so of course you're not going to stop being friends with her/him but they tend to not say much either. I’ve been in a situation like this before, spoke on it in front of the friend and she felt some kind of way...was I wrong? I know it wasn’t MY place but clearly common sense is not so common. My thing is if you don’t see me act or say certain things around my children, neither should you. Period. Just out of respect for me as your friend first and foremost and then for my personal parenting towards my children. #ignorance

  1. So at some point in life, if you don’t have family that you're close with, you go to friends. Of course if things get rough financially, you have to sell your home (God forbid) to down grade or can’t keep up with the rent, lose your job, you go to them as well. Stuff happens and we all need somebody to lean on in tough times. You are now the friend staying on the couch or guest bedroom until you can get on your feet. Nothing wrong with that, you have a roof over your head! Everybody has a certain way they live, keep their home, cleaning schedules, etc. For some reason, since this is your friend, you decide you want to live like it’s your own and not follow this person’s rules. You want to smoke inside because it’s cold, company until 3am, decide not to clean up after yourself, bring men/women all hours of the night of whom they don’t know and have a habit of leaving the tv and lights on all night for a bill you don’t pay. Then get angry because you get a 2 week notice of yo ass getting out!? You tried it homeless! It does not take much to RESPECT someone’s home and how they want to live, whether you like it or not. #respectornexthouseyougo

  1. Having a nosey parent, aunt or grandmother... is the worst thing in the world! As they began to approach those “old ages”, they become catty and they sit on the porch or phone all day discussing the neighbors business or who sleeping with who at church. The boundary with this, they then began to run your business down as well! Lady, you tried it. Don’t come over for Sunday dinner thinking sweet old auntie or your grandmother is a great listener or gives the best advice...that heffa telling all your business. Deacon John, Suzanne the neighbor, Lisa from her sewing class, Jessica at the shoe store or the cab driver taking her from her doctor’s appointment! Everything from your kids, your neighbors, your husband and his cheating ways and the reason you stayed at her house for a week. They even get in your pockets too! How much you make, where you work, and what your house look like. You know, the things YOU yourself won’t tell anybody...I don’t know what it is or why but they have to be stopped lol. These old women are good at giving you the tea and you sipping it, not realizing she could be telling your business to everybody she come in contact with just for conversation. #Idontwanttobeoldlikethat

  1. One should NEVER kick somebody while they are down! Crazy because this usually comes from a family member or friend, someone close. I hate to see someone struggling and going through the motions of whatever they’re going through. I Am a strong believer in karma and what goes around, comes around so why do people do stuff like this? I feel it’s insecurity in themselves. They get on this high horse because they’re making the money they want and maybe have the job/career they want but see you aren’t doing the same or having a hard time and they judge you. I feel it’s a void within, something they are missing and they take it out on the person already vulnerable. Quickly forgetting, that where they are can be taken away with the snap of a finger and can be struggling just like you soon after. #humbleyourself

Yes, it’s a lot but I just feel these are things people should NOT do and it happens all the time. I’m definitely at that point, and have been for awhile, where I actually think before acting or reacting. The main thing I keep in mind is good old karma. I never want to treat someone a certain way and when I’m comfortable, it comes back.