Friday, October 23, 2015

Same difference!

Bi-sexual, Tri-sexual, Transgender, Homosexual, Lesbian, Queer, Judy, Asexual or Dike. What do they all have in common….HUMAN BEINGS. Period.

I remember in high school sitting at the lunch table and always starting a conversation about something! There were six of us that went to middle school together and it was an even split of three who grew up in church and three who did not but believed in God. So, being me and random as usual, I asked a question many were not really concerned about around that time: “would you disown your child if he or she came to you and said they were gay or liked the same sex”? Of course the three who grew up in church responses were “yes, that’s not in the Bible”, “that’s not how I’m going to raise my children so that shouldn’t be the case” and my favorite “I would have nothing to do with my child or their partner”. Hmm. Now me having never going to church every Sunday as a child or grew up reading the Bible, I still felt something in me say that was completely wrong! Why would disown a human being that did not ask to be here?! Made entirely no sense. I understand what’s in the Bible and what Christians believe and I know it’s wrong to put myself above God’s word but I can not view my child in a negative way because of their sexual preference.

Not many people were “out” at that time but somehow you just knew who they were before “gay” became the norm at high school’s, work or having their own neighborhoods. I still stand my ground on my child regardless. People don’t realize how that hurts or makes a person feel for just being themselves and 9/10 they can’t help it. It’s just like certain foods you would prefer over others, it’s what makes you happy right? I see this too often with people not being able to be who they are and be comfortable. When I say this, I guess I mean with family first and then some friends. They’re blood but will make you feel more of an outsider than a stranger on the street! This is supposed to be your comfort zone where if you can’t be yourself around anyone else, they are to welcome you with open arms, heart and mind. I can understand many fathers being disappointed not having the “manly” or “typical” son they dream of. Playing sports, the talk about building a family, the first girl they kiss or being there to watch the first born knowing his son was responsible for this beautiful creation. It’s the same for moms watching their daughters grow up dating the same sex. There may not be the mani and pedi day, make-up, meeting the man of her dreams or teaching her how to walk in high heels. But life goes on and he/she should not be treated any different as love is unconditional. What love isn’t, is universal. There wouldn’t be many transgender or gays being killed or harmed in any way because of their sexual preference. Is it that serious? Grant it, I know many who often don’t understand that everybody is not to be pushed up on or even approached by someone who prefers the same sex. Just because you do, does not mean they prefer it. Be careful. That still should not anger someone to the point of doing bodily harm. That is still someone’s child, mother, son, daughter or father you are taking away forever.

I love every gay friend I have, male or female, or relative and judge not. I feel same sex should be legal everywhere and they should have the same privileges as heterosexuals. Especially since this way of living has been around for ages now and proves to be going nowhere anytime soon. If someone wants to get a sex change to look like Beyonce then so be it! All the straight women who get a plethora of  different surgeries done to up their self- esteem or impress a man with money, why can’t they do the same to feel good about themselves and show off? The booty shots and injections, lip injections, hip injections, higher cheek bones and smaller foreheads are getting out of control but it’s looked as eye candy and supposedly makes a woman look better being built a certain way. Really? But a gay man is shunned upon for being gay first and foremost, wearing make-up, heels and getting the same surgeries done? I didn’t know “surgery” was just for certain people? Smh. Whatever. It goes both ways. Women stop doing the same things these gay men and women do to look “good” and feel good, then people will stop talking about lop-sided booties and breasts. It’s the same difference. We are ALL human with our personal insecurities and desire things we have always wanted in life. Male or female.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Platonic or naw??

Platonic: of, relating to, or having a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.

If you haven’t already, you will always run into this kind of friendship. Nothing more or less than what it really is. You know almost everything about this person so it’s like relationship in a way, just not in THAT way. They always seem to be the go - to when issues with your partner or other friendships aren’t going so well. This is the first person you think of when something is good or bad to tell them and maybe get advice. Simple, right? When it’s years, eventually, depending on how often you talk, someone catches feelings. The waiting begins. Of course you guys date people, in and out of relationships, catch up here and there on the “daily news” of life. This person never speaks on their feelings and wants nothing but happiness for you. But deep down, they want you and secretly wait for your relationships to sour so they can have you in the way they’ve always wanted. But what happens when it’s not mutual?
Case in point. I’ve known him since 10th grade in high school but didn’t began hanging out until a few years after graduating from high school. He was with someone at that point and I never paid him any mind. I always thought it was cool having a close guy friend and him not be gay! I didn’t think that it would make me come to the decision of falling back. Why? Well, throughout the years and now, I have not EVER looked at him like I wanted him and that we’re just friends. He has attempted plenty of times before so how could I call this person “friend”? That was stupid Dannie but I have to laugh at it. Simply because It then was not platonic and the whole time this person was on the fence of what they really wanted. I know how he is and was in relationships...with that said, I’m good buddy. I, like many others, don’t want to ruin a friendship by “trying” anything other than what we’ve already tried, friendship. Period. It seems as if many lay back and give advice whether good or bad and wait for your man to mess up to sweep in and get what they want. He just got out of a relationship and I’m not trying to be anybody’s rebound. I don’t even want a rebound for self! It’s possible for men and women to strictly be friends but you always have the one that messes up for everybody...this would be him.
What I’m really confused about is when I asked him why, his answer was, “why not”...that’s it? No sparks, moons, stars?? Lol. Clearly we don’t need to do that move buddy. My question is, why do people feel they need to rebound with someone else to get over an ex? I have not ever looked back on wanting to be with an ex boyfriend! The answer is simple, do you after breaking up and before actually moving on. That’s it. Have your “phone buddy” when you get bored and take it one step at a time. The more you date, video chat, email, text and go out with other people, it’s going to make you miss that feeling of being in a secure relationship where you could do all of the above, with one person. Then you get nostalgic and miss/want what you had, your comfort zone. Whether this person was good for you or not, you then began to think of ways you two could figure out a better way of doing everything that went wrong. Who wants to got through all of that!!? I would rather wish them well, stay single-single, date when I’m completely ready and do the relationship thing when God wants me too. In between, when you stay busy and focus on bettering you mentally, spiritually and financially, your good. You won’t have time for the bullshit that comes along with these men. It’s actually a good feeling, freeing. So until next time, stop rebounding and looking for the “next best thing”, you lost it. Except it and move on.