Saturday, October 10, 2015

Platonic or naw??

Platonic: of, relating to, or having a close relationship in which there is no romance or sex.

If you haven’t already, you will always run into this kind of friendship. Nothing more or less than what it really is. You know almost everything about this person so it’s like relationship in a way, just not in THAT way. They always seem to be the go - to when issues with your partner or other friendships aren’t going so well. This is the first person you think of when something is good or bad to tell them and maybe get advice. Simple, right? When it’s years, eventually, depending on how often you talk, someone catches feelings. The waiting begins. Of course you guys date people, in and out of relationships, catch up here and there on the “daily news” of life. This person never speaks on their feelings and wants nothing but happiness for you. But deep down, they want you and secretly wait for your relationships to sour so they can have you in the way they’ve always wanted. But what happens when it’s not mutual?
Case in point. I’ve known him since 10th grade in high school but didn’t began hanging out until a few years after graduating from high school. He was with someone at that point and I never paid him any mind. I always thought it was cool having a close guy friend and him not be gay! I didn’t think that it would make me come to the decision of falling back. Why? Well, throughout the years and now, I have not EVER looked at him like I wanted him and that we’re just friends. He has attempted plenty of times before so how could I call this person “friend”? That was stupid Dannie but I have to laugh at it. Simply because It then was not platonic and the whole time this person was on the fence of what they really wanted. I know how he is and was in relationships...with that said, I’m good buddy. I, like many others, don’t want to ruin a friendship by “trying” anything other than what we’ve already tried, friendship. Period. It seems as if many lay back and give advice whether good or bad and wait for your man to mess up to sweep in and get what they want. He just got out of a relationship and I’m not trying to be anybody’s rebound. I don’t even want a rebound for self! It’s possible for men and women to strictly be friends but you always have the one that messes up for everybody...this would be him.
What I’m really confused about is when I asked him why, his answer was, “why not”...that’s it? No sparks, moons, stars?? Lol. Clearly we don’t need to do that move buddy. My question is, why do people feel they need to rebound with someone else to get over an ex? I have not ever looked back on wanting to be with an ex boyfriend! The answer is simple, do you after breaking up and before actually moving on. That’s it. Have your “phone buddy” when you get bored and take it one step at a time. The more you date, video chat, email, text and go out with other people, it’s going to make you miss that feeling of being in a secure relationship where you could do all of the above, with one person. Then you get nostalgic and miss/want what you had, your comfort zone. Whether this person was good for you or not, you then began to think of ways you two could figure out a better way of doing everything that went wrong. Who wants to got through all of that!!? I would rather wish them well, stay single-single, date when I’m completely ready and do the relationship thing when God wants me too. In between, when you stay busy and focus on bettering you mentally, spiritually and financially, your good. You won’t have time for the bullshit that comes along with these men. It’s actually a good feeling, freeing. So until next time, stop rebounding and looking for the “next best thing”, you lost it. Except it and move on.