Saturday, March 28, 2015

Recap of a book

The days I have off work, I love reading a good book. Especially like today when its rainy and a nice little breeze coming through the window. Chilling. I usually go for the love books with explicit sexual content (not on purpose) and of course mainly the action and drama that comes along with it. It’s entertaining to say the least. I love the fact that all of my electronic devices are google play and books to pick up where I left off on one device. Their free selection of books aren’t that bad either. Previous books I’ve read and enjoyed were Fifty Shades of Grey, The Coldest Winter Ever, Midnight, a few by Zane and Steven King. But out of all the drama and craziness, there is nothing like the book I’m reading now. I borrowed this from a cousin who is the queen of reading these types of books. It’s called The Ex Factor by Tu-Shonda Whitaker. It’s about 3 sisters from Brooklyn named Celeste, Imani, and Monica who have the same mother different fathers and live different lifestyles in a sense.
Celeste is the oldest who has 3 children (1 of her own and twins by her husband), married to a cop to whom is younger than she, and they live in Jersey. Over the years she has gained weight, no longer works and her husband, Shareif, is no longer attracted to her and she knows it. Long nights, he’s never home and knows he’s cheating...just not with who. Imani is the sister on welfare, lives in the projects in Brooklyn, has a son by someone she was with for 10 years but he can’t seem to stay out of prison or keep a job. She found out while he was away for 2 years, he had gotten someone else pregnant with their second child while she visited him in prison the days Imani didn’t go and also married her while he was in prison. Imani never knew this. Last but not least is Monica, the sister that pissed me off. Monica works at a hospital, single has no man, her own place, no kids and seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. Monica is having an affair with her sisters husband, Shareif, is now 4 months pregnant and keeping the baby! Really? Not saying this does not happen but I’m not checking out nobody elses man...he’s yours and let alone my sister’s man. Triflin. What made it worse was Celeste would confide in her sister about their marriage, she knowing that he’s cheating, and how she felt.
So this may not be a big deal to some but to me it is having 2 other sisters myself and not having a thought in mind of something like this happening. Of course the husband is telling Monica he wants to be with her and love her but doesn’t want anymore children...welp buddy should have thought about that before having unprotected sex with her. And it’s crazy because Monica doesn’t have a guilty bone in her body. She feels Celeste was always mean to her growing up and it’s her fault that she gotten fat and no longer keeps the interest of her husband. What type of s**t is that!?
How is a woman that desperate to have a man she is willing to take someone elses and rain on the other womans happiness? How are you that miserable to sit and dwell on the love and affection you see a man give his woman that you would want him specifically to do the same for you? The sad thing is the lengths that his woman would go through to keep his sorry ass. I’m not fighting nobody, you don’t deserve a cuss out, he doesn’t deserve tears and I will not be distraught. Honestly if it was that easy, no matter how long she was chasing him, you weren’t mine to begin with. Nobody should ever be able to come between you and your partner. Period. I hate when people say it was a mistake, they think with their “friend”, men can’t control their sexual desires or sex drives, and the infamous “men will be men” bull. And for the life of me don’t understand it. Anybody in their right mind will think about what they are losing and how they won’t EVER get that back, even if she takes you back. It won’t be the same. If this is not an immediate thought, you didn’t really care like you thought you have all that time.  

Wednesday, March 25, 2015


Hate. Such a strong word and people use it in the wrong context. Men and women constantly use it to describe how someone feels about them. For example: to be jealous because of how they dress, the kind of car they have, them having their own spot, or because of the man or woman they have in their lives. You know the things you are supposed to have as an adult. Ridiculous. Honestly, if I’m going to feel that strongly about someone, it’s going to be something real. I will hate the person who murders a family member of mine and taking them from myself, their family and my own, the boyfriend who manipulates and abuses a friend of mine and lowers her self esteem, or the father that was never there but wants to be when I shine and do well for myself. Those are legit reasons for me to HATE someone.

There are people who feel material things are a reason to hate, lets think about what some go through on a regular basis. Homelessness is something we see on a daily basis. We have no idea why they are at that point in life but I hate seeing people sleeping on the streets and living underground by the sub or el. We can point the finger all day long but for those that are going through it, have a reason to hate the way they have to live. Shelters are available and I honestly feel they become too full and they have no choice but to make a home somewhere else. The woman who suffers physical abuse from her husband or lover has a reason to hate. Her children have a reason to hate her for not leaving and staying to be hurt. They see the pain shes dealing with and too young to help her. That girl who suffers sexual abuse has a reason to hate her abuser and anybody that never stopped him when she spoke up. People with single parents have a reason to hate their mothers or fathers for not being there. They watched day by day the struggle for food, gas to get to work, money for the bus or train, getting things for the home or trying to make time for themselves to be an adult outside of their children.

Instead of focusing on the petty reasons why we hate anything, lets always stop and think about what someone else is going through and the reasons why they have hate in their hearts. We have the opportunity to improve our lives and make them better but instead many look to others lives as confirmation that their not where they want to be. Why? It may not be in Gods plan for you to have what they or even close to it. I know things may get rough but thats life. You’re here to do whats in your heart, not follow and constantly evaluate the life of another. So lets stop HATING and focus on what you are here to do. Whether it’s to be a Cardiologists, Nurse, Paralegal, Communications major, helping people in other countries or being a stay at home mother….focus on your life and what you are here to do. Period. If we do this, we will be happy with self and the way things are going for self and have no time worrying about others and the lives they lead.