Thursday, July 23, 2015

Generation Nigga

Scenario: The woman takes her time. Goes about things the old fashioned way: phone conversations until 2am, dinner here, lunch date there and a walk or two with your favorite tea or coffee when the weather allows it. No sex, kissing, fondling or spooning. Guy has yet to see her house and she refuses to go to his until she’s ready. They like one another and could see things going further. Then out the blue things change. He begins to call less and her woman's intuition kicks in.

Typical situation for my generation and the ones behind me. Of course it’s way worse than this but I can keep it light for now. The boys today, yes boys, do no chasing, no letting her know how he feels, no flowers, hand holding, cute goodmorning texts or random calls throughout the day to let her know you’re thinking of her. They do none of what makes a woman feel like their woman or half ass it and at some point, it stops. Instead it’s send me a pic, him sending dick pics or chest pics, calls after 10pm to be there at 11:30pm, “chillen” is and has always been the “thing” to do and there is always a friend of his floating around anytime you get together. What are we in high school? They have a tendency to think that because they come over to chill or vice versa, that they were getting some…? I don’t know who told you buddy but you played yourself lol.

They don’t want to look “nutty” by doing things that makes their lady happy. Too worried about what friends would say about the new and hopefully improved them. A woman can do that to you, so why not allow it and try something different? Changing your style, attitude towards certain things, be there for your kids, support family if they haven’t before and just becoming a better man. I still see this, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not how our uncles, grandfathers and fathers were. Is it because the woman’s morals have changed? Have the men gotten worse with disrespect and “wife” the women they feel are real women when they aren’t? Are women just sick of being mistreated, taken for granted, ignored and not made a priority and decide to play like the men? Once a good girl had gone bad, it’s hard to get her back once she becomes accustomed to this. Men fail to realize, you treat her like a queen, she will treat you like a king, period. So if you come home and dinner isn’t cooked for the house but she’s eating chinese food, bed not made but she’s cozy on the couch or was close with your family at some point but suddenly barely goes around anymore to prevent the relationship and family trip conversations. That means she basically has reached that point of no return. Even small things such as conversation about her day or yours, taking longer to clean the house, stops buying what you need and worries about self and is clearly emotionally withdrawn….it’s a problem.

Sorry to have offend any dude reading but when I said boys, I don’t just mean you having a full time job, facial hair, kids, your own place and a car. Those things do not make you a man! And I constantly see this all the time. These dudes disrespect the mother of their children and too often in front of the child setting an example and creating a cycle of future abuse and disrespect. Both physical, verbal, and mental. The word Bitch gets thrown around like it’s appropriate for every female to be disrespected either because she doesn’t want to talk to you, give her number, dismisses the idea of sex with you without commitment or even knowing you. She’s a whore because you know her number of sex partners but it’s okay for you to sleep with a woman that lives on every corner or different sections of the city throughout the week? Many of these “men” allow good women to become single after years of dragging her along. Courting stops and they become comfortable, you can’t compete with a strong women so you feel yelling and hollering is the proper way of communicating, excuses for time, and often boast to hide the truth. Playing games to get your way and picking irrelevant arguments when your woman approaches you about being in the wrong.

But with all that said, what do men do? They lie about their feelings to protect yours instead of having a grown and mature conversation about where things are. They make you feel like there is someone better when it should never be a comparison or competition between you and another woman, that statement should never touch his lips if he loves and cares about you in any way! When they see things are beginning to go awry in the relationship, they began having other outlets to prevent from being alone after it’s over. Not realizing it’s pulling their time away from you, loyalty is lost and anybody having too much private time away from their partner is never a good thing. A lot of them act as if they have a masters in Psychology as they tend to use reverse often. You have a sit down with them about a wrong or feeling or whatever and they either go tick for tack or use the exact same scenario against you in a negative way when it wasn’t meant to come off that way.Thus making you feel worse than you did before the conversation, but why? They have an off switch and take heed when they want to, not because it’s beneficial to the relationship. I feel the problem is a lot of these “men” are raised by women. Mothers have a tendency to baby their sons. Grant it, he is the only man in their life besides a husband or significant other. Not always a bad thing but many men I run into have attitudes of girls I wouldn’t even hang out with. Some actually step up and become the man of the household and carry it with them into adulthood but no luck for the rest. A woman can not raise a man, only a man can do that. Think this is why I’m good on the children at this point…

Ladies just keep in mind that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before getting your prince;) Have patience!

To healthier and happier relationships soon enough and praying for longevity for those who found love!!