Friday, March 11, 2016

Black & white or men & women?

           The way we live is different, what we eat is different, and the attitudes we carry are different. Its not a surprise that the way we handle relationships are different. Statistically, black women are the race that are least likely to be married and have a family. We often have kids before committing seriously to someone therefore making it okay to be a baby mother and drag on the title girlfriend forever. Is it us or the men?
            I see soo many white men and women my age who share a mortgage, a child or two and are genuinely happy. Of course with the usual relationship/partner problems. So why can't my race get it together?? In my opinion it's the way the we are raised, the neighborhoods we come from (environment) and homes we come from. The men are taught to not seek anything serious, have fun, and "sow your oats" beforehand to get it out of your system before settling down with someone.  While doing so, they have relations or relationships where they drag them along, feed them dreams of the things they wish for and impregnate without a second thought because "it" feels too good to use protection. The women allow it.
            Women constantly hear the convos from girlfriends or family on the amount of time you 2 have been together and automatically assume you should give him a child. Why not right? Financially your not where you want to be, you have an apartment not your ideal home, and don't have the career just yet that your working towards. But yeah, throw a baby into the mix and you will live happily ever after. Their examples are their mothers, since fathers being absent are the norm, which takes me back to black women not being married or staying married. It starts somewhere. Fathers are at a minimum and the confidantes are their friends whom are most likely in the same boat.
             The women see their mothers being single parents and most see it as independence and that it's okay to raise a human being alone. They may see their mothers being submissive to a man, giving him everything to keep him around but receiving nothing in return. And it's okay with them. Some women even tell their daughters that's how you get and keep him around. To play the role of house wife without a ring or serious commitment from this man, and it's okay. It has to stop somewhere. One thing I can say is most white women generally keep their men or is it the man keeping them? There's no gray areas, it's either or. Either women do the above for a man with no committing or she lacks somewhere because she knows she deserves more and she's single. Most white women I know or see are single or have the latter...the home, husband, kid (s), and careers. So which do you think it is, black culture or just men and women in general? I could be wrong though, just my opinion.