Saturday, September 20, 2014

Side "piece" and the dilemma

At one point this was just something temporary, to have someone different outside of your man/woman. It was exhilarating and gave you a rush to even get attention from someone else in that way. The way they touch you, smile at you, make you feel you can be yourself good or bad and makes you forget about the headaches going on in life. Many people would say it made their relationships last longer or made it better. Maybe you realized you weren’t ready to settle down and were just used to dating but didn’t want to let them go. Maybe the sex is better, you guys have more in common, or maybe this is the person you run to when your partner is tripping or just getting on your nerves. You could be the side piece’s side piece, it could be insecurity issues, or maybe you’re looking for more of what you’re not getting. What happens if the side piece catches feelings? What happens if you do?
The funny thing about most “side relationships” is the person doing the cheating treats this person better than their “main”...yeah I have always been confused about that. If that’s the case then move on and stay with the side piece and live happily ever after. Of course this rarely happens because the one doing the cheating, wants their cake and eat it too. To be free spirits without the consequences. The cheater will make all the time in the world for their side piece without knowing it and leave the one at home on hold constantly wondering. I know you can’t help to whom you fall for but to a certain extent it makes me wonder, where is the respect for your relationship? For this person as an individual? Why do people insist on leading others on after this person’s emotions and heart are involved? Is this for excitement?
It’s funny and yet sad because with the women who are successful in life, lower their standards or “dumb” themselves down to be with a man. Usually a guy feels that since home is taken care of: bills paid, mortgage paid, suburban living, nice home, she has a car, sex whenever he wants it and sometimes how, they may have children together, and she gets whatever she wants, that its okay for him have other women…..or woman...a.k.a ”The side chick”. So I have wondered many times how these “type” of chicks feel knowing this. Of course they don’t feel bad because they wouldn’t continue to deal with him or even look twice if they knew he was taken or cared. But then the question at hand is who is the one actually lowering her standards? The side chick or the main? Or both? Honestly I say both.
In all actually, as far as personality, people show their true colors not too long after you meet them. When it becomes serious, some may show this side up to a year. At that point its up to you to decide if you want to deal or keep it moving. With that said, the main chick about 90% of the time knows what kind of man she is dealing with from the gate. Whether he's a flirt, all around cheater and with anything in a skirt, a gentlemen, all around asshole, selfish etc. You just know. Women don’t have women's intuition for no reason. So sometimes the main chick at one point was the side chick. He may not have had other women he was dealing with but everything else under the sun could have been his priority and not her. Just so happens he got comfortable with the main chick and decided it was not enough and went looking for more of what he thought he was missing.

The side piece has a woman's intuition as well but rarely uses it. She usually waits in the background playing her role. She notices him coming around when he’s horny and the main is out with friends or on vaca. She may know that things won’t work out in her favor every time she wants to see and be around this person. Instead of getting out of a hurtful situation, they stay for the benefits that come with it. She doesn’t have to deal with the emotional attachment, scheduled phone calls and texts, he has no authority over her meaning she can date whomever and whenever, no commitment and she is still taken care of financially (to an extent) and sexually. Sounds like a deal right? I guess but at some point, she is going to want more and want the luxuries the main chick is granted with on a regular basis depending on how long she’s been around. The kids, calling and texting whenever something good or bad happens, quality time, sharing a home, PDA, money for her own business, different cars and driving his, knowing the fam and close friends, cookouts, and double dates. But most of all his heart. These things will make anybody without a love of their own envious. May not seem like a lot but in her eyes and heart, she’s not getting that and will want that eventually. Then what? She makes herself known in some way and many cause rift and confusion in the life and relationships of the one they want leaving him with an ultimatum. Why do people still get involved in these situations is beyond me but to each its own.