Sunday, June 21, 2015

To reproduce or not to reproduce...


I’m quite sure I’m not the only female without children who constantly gets that famous question, “when are you having children?” ...Why? Are you planning on helping me take care of him/her?? It’s annoying but I guess I understand where they are coming from. I’m 28 years OLD, the clock is ticking...matter of fact, I don’t know where they are coming from! I’m 28, no kids, not married, and if it’s in Gods hands for me to have children, it will be done when he wants it to be done. Period. No rush and I want to be some kind of careful with whom I give this gift too. Leave it alone. I want to travel or at least live in another city or two and just enjoy life without having a major responsibility outside of bills. Kids hold people back for years from doing what they want to do. I like having the chance to go and do whatever I want without looking or begging for a babysitter. I like my alone and personal time whenever I want. I understand they bring about a great level of joy, happiness and a great deal of being more grateful for what you have. I’m just not at that point in my life. I’m definitely not taking a jab at the women my age who do have children, it’s just I see too many women my age who are single mothers that bothers me.
I honestly see a lot of women who actually don’t need kids and I feel bad for the child involved. Even worst is, that is all that child knows by seeing the behavior that is displayed around them. Smoking with their parents and posting bags of weed on Social Networks at 15, parents disrespect outside the home so the kids then bring it inside the home back to the parent, not conducting themselves in a mature way outside the home (all the fighting videos on Youtube) or not finishing high school and be okay with it. Too much! Around my neighborhood it’s not too bad but was walking my dog one beautiful afternoon and seen this girl twerking in front of this baby boy...like hard too! Girl, that is not cute what so ever and they get mad when these boys bring home the women that’s out of pocket, ghetto, ratchet or whatever else. They then grow up to believe that’s a “woman” and how she is supposed to conduct herself. I don’t get it but okay.
For me, It’s too much of a responsibility I’m not ready for nor have the patience for honestly. I’m also scared of running into someone who is an unfit father figure. You know the guy who pops up out of nowhere when not expecting it and seems like the man of your dreams, whatever that may be, does everything right but wands up fucking you over with bullshit you tried to stay away from...I’m good. I want to be a great mom and be able to give my child everything they want and need without me having to utter the words, “Can I”, “Can you help me with”, or “Are you able to” with nobody at any given time. I don’t want to work 2 and 3 jobs to make sure we are good because the father of my child wants to be a pure dickhead! That’s not the life I want. I see too many of my fellow peers going through it God willing and pushing on as if the world is not on their shoulders. I’m quite sure I will be the same way when up against a wall, but why bother to be? That’s why I would rather take my time and be married first. My wife and kids sounds so much and feels so much better than my baby-mom and kids. There are so many good men out here whom get over-looked because yes, we women, have a certain type we like and it’s not always going to be the tech geek, guy who became a surgeon after high school, the business man or the real estate tycoon. They don’t live in the areas where a lot of women I know, including myself, come from. So what’s left is the around the way “nigga”, hustlers, guy pursuing the “rap” career, the semi good guy with the throwed off ex- girl who won’t leave him alone, or the guy who has a good 8 to 5 job with benefits and health insurance that feels he’s doing better than anybody in the neighborhood...but still live there...to show off I guess?...yeah. Cornball. Anyway, of course somewhere in the mix is the guy looking to get out and working on it but women don’t want that. Why? Who knows, stupidity I guess and I was one of them lol! Sad to admit but I’m older now and a lot wiser. Women want someone already established and get everything they want from him they can’t get for themselves. Anyway, I guess it’s up to God and he brings people in your life for a reason and season sometimes, I’m just saying I don’t the pop up baby father in conclusion. I know some awesome women and wish them nothing but the best in their journeys to raising their children. In the mean time...

To someday having a great sperm donor! This picture is so idyllic!!