Sunday, August 17, 2014

The battle within

  • Weight issues- you feel you’re too heavy or over-weight and just trying to keep up with the video models and actresses. Or even just everyday people. Feel a big booty and a size 8 is the perfect size to get attention. (feeling of being over-looked)   
  • Childhood issues- you were either teased or bullied. You were a loaner and wasn’t good at making friends. People didn’t accept you for who you were even when genuine.This then carried on later in life. (feeling of loneliness)
  • Family issues- There was either constant bickering, arguing, name calling, and no affection. They didn’t show any support, you never sat at the table to eat dinner and were not very close.  One or both was all about career and you rarely seen them when you needed them most. (abandonment issues)
  • Skin Complexion- you have a beautiful dark, olive or light skinned complexion and people love it but for some reason you struggle with accepting you for you. You often put yourself down and feel you could look better (self-hatred vs self-confidence)
  • Blunt/outspoken- speaking your mind is a good thing but you never know when to press the pause/stop button. People often can’t handle the truth. (to speak truth or bite thy tongue)
  • Pessimistic- Negative nelly. Always shining a negative light on things and can’t see the good in anything. You’ve lived in bad neighborhoods growing up and surrounded yourself with like-minded individuals. You always tried your best but always felt success was not within reach. (psychology vs surroundings)
  • Too nice- people often take advantage of you and you wonder if they really like you for you or just what you are willing to do for them...

Everyone has a battle they deal with at some point in life. Whether you’re taking things day by day or simply one step at a time, nobody is living the perfect life. If so it may seem that way on the outside. People have the tendency to make things worse for you and what you’re battling with. They often criticize and say you’re too skinny, that you need to lose weight, ask why are you so negative or why are you so nice to people that don’t deserve it. People tend to not care about figuring out where it comes from and why, you know, the real question they should be asking. It makes you feel bad and maybe even worthless in a sense that you are not what people want you to be. It’s more so sad even because you never know someones story but will judge at the drop of a dime. It begins to mess with your mental and emotions until you want the pain to go away.This is when self-harm comes into play or drugs, alcohol abuse and just no longer caring for self. People will abandon their child/children, steal from the ones that love them, and have babies with men/women who care nothing about them but show them all the love in the world. They feel the high from the drugs, alcohol or pills will take them away from the pain long enough to cope better but it makes it worse and often leads to death.
There are all types of individuals that are still not accepted completely within society. I can see the 50’s or 60’s but in 2014 it’s still unbelievable. Gay men and women, whether people want to accept it or not. Their battle, not being accepted still and are thought to not be normal wanting another man or woman. They often get the we are disgusted looks. Straight women will look at a pretty girl whom is gay or bi and think she is too pretty to be with another woman or will look at a gay man and think the same thing. Individuals who date outside their race is another group. Their battle, they are judged and looked at like its just about money and being taken care of. My thing is a man within my race can do the same thing...so what are you really saying about a man within my race? I don’t look at it like they feel it’s better but some people probably had bad experiences dating within their race and decided on something different/new. There is nothing wrong with that but you would have thought they didn’t like their race at all the way people look at the situation. Relax and let them do them unless they are completely bashing their own race then make an issue. The roles men and women play within the household to a certain extent is not accepted. Many men or older women feel the woman's place is at home. Now the woman may not agree with this but will comply because she loves and wants to be with this man. Her battle, wanting independence and some control over the finances as well instead of all decisions being on him. She can always leave but will question if it’s worth completely leaving and throwing the relationship away. If the role is the other way around and the woman was the breadwinner, his battle is he will be looked at as less of a man. Some women have the tendency to belittle a man when he can’t do his part in the relationship.

It’s a struggle to walk around like everything is okay and yet feel so much pain, non-acceptance, and confusion inside. You have to smile and be friendly at work and fake to get through the day and keep your job secure. You don’t want people asking what’s wrong and how can I help because they can’t. And believe me that gets annoying. It’s an issue that starts with you and your surroundings and ends with you. Whether you take the step to get better or do better and move on to the next battle or you stay fighting that same battle. The choice is yours.