Saturday, July 26, 2014

Eye opener

Now Im quite sure every female has had that friend or has that friend that is in her twenties or thirties and is always stuck on a guy. She explains how he is handsome, maybe he drives, maybe has his own place, they can talk about everything, and has had sex a few times and you still can’t see what the big deal is. She is then hurt or bothered by him not wanting anymore to do with her and says she’s hurt behind it. Trust I have played this role as well, when I was younger, where the dude brought nothing to the table but all or one of the above. Anyway I guess what I’m getting to is what makes us women just focus on liking someone and nothing else? Then get upset when he messes things up or no longer interested. I have heard this way too often from colleagues or from friends. I think when we are young and what old people call “dumb”, we don’t care about the things that are important. We just remember and think about short term things. While dating someone older a few years ago, he asked if I have ever been in love...simple question right? Wrong, turned into a 2 hour conversation. After saying “I believe so”, he asked why and how did you know? I could not answer this question without saying the basic “he was working, had his own, and that we could talk about everything”. He laughed at my answer and I was confused. Mind you he was about 31-32 years of age, very mature for age and I was about 22-23 with still some things to learn, clearly. He then asked if he made me feel secure (emotionally, financially), had goals (short and long term), did he rub me down when my body was sore, a shoulder to lean on when I was down or bothered by something, made sure I got to and from work okay at the beginning and end of the day, made sure I was fed, helped with my bills if I needed and were up to date, made me fall in love with his mind, cook for you or with you, always made time for you, and took me out to places of my choice to discover new and different foods and atmospheres? Damn, I guess at that time he made me realize that I have never been in love, but LUST. Those were things I wanted but could never get because of who I was attracted to at that time. No it's not many years ago but it does not take a smart person to “upgrade” themselves and their taste in the opposite sex. From then on, I knew what I wanted and how I deserved to be treated and when friends or whoever came to me about relationship issues, if it’s not anything serious, it went through one ear and out the other lol. Mean, in a way but I just feel she may be lowering her standards for someone that doesn’t want what she wants or just don’t want her. Don’t waste your time and keep it moving.