Saturday, July 26, 2014

There is much "competition" among my peers and for no reason. It starts at wanting to be successful in life, landing that big/dream job (that many are still looking for), then comes the house, the car, and wanting the raise that shows your good at what you do. That's perfectly fine but not "everyone" in this world will ever achieve that realistically or in that order. Especially not with the job market. It may take some longer than others to land that job or even to finish school. I felt bad at some point and to a certain extent still do that I did not finish school when I was "supposed" to, you know the 4 year plan. When I left school the first and second time for financial reasons, I was not getting the help I needed. So, you do what you have to do, work and save until further notice. Anyway, I look at a lot of people that I was going to graduate with and they are doing good and that's great! I never hate on that and applaud people who go where they want to in life because life is hard. Just seems sometimes either people have it easier or they go about things smarter than you have. Either way comparing myself to these people will only cause set back from me getting what I want out of life, success. I was envious in college and after because their parents/guardian helped any way they could. They often brought them food for the dorm, transferred money for textbooks and miscellaneous things needed and even called to make sure they were okay. I've gotten help with food but anything else was like pulling a limb so I worked. And it seems like I've been just "working" ever since then and worked hard to keep my own places outside of dorm living and food on my table. I don't want to use excuses for anything, at all, I guess I just lost motivation at some point and figured it will be if meant for me. I now look at my peers as motivation to do better and hunger for more. Not getting what I needed while in school whether emotional and physical made me NEVER look at anyone and worry about what they are doing with their life. Everyone has their own story and I have my own life I have to live and only I can make it better or even great for that matter. So I said all of this to say I feel I have no competition... because only I can deal with what I've dealt with and still have a good head on my shoulders and always will be a stronger woman for it.